Why are my hopes so high?

I don’t get it. Remember when I talked about that guy “Andrew?” Well, let me tell you something. When I first met him I made a complete fool out of myself. I was drunk out of my mind and made a horrible impression. It became known I had a school girl crush on a man I barley knew. He made it clear that he was not with it. So then the following year I stayed away from him and avoided him at all costs. One day, at a bar, once again I was drunk… I go up to him, slurring my words of course, and ask if he remembers me. He says “how could I forget you” and leans in for a hug. I sobered up pretty quickly and was in complete shock. I was so happy. The conversation ended right there. This was after I lost the 50 pounds. Throughout the semester we went on saying hello at the bars and even embracing every time we crossed paths…but still no conversations. I’ve even started to become friends with some of his friends too! The only reason I keep holding on is that when I decide to completely ignore him, he seems to get angry…maybe its all in my head. Now I’m sitting here working my ass off trying to become this model skinny type of person just so he could maybe give me a chance. I am a very stubborn person, it sucks. I always want what I can’t have. I feel like I’m obsessed. Whats the point? But for some reason I still have a lot of hope that this year may be different. This year might be the year that I actually get the guy, which doesn’t really happen for me. Am I crazy to think this way?


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