Broken

This pain is nothing new to me. I actually feel my heart breaking. Losing control of my emotions. Tears falling from my eyes just from the thought of you. A pain in my chest, a numbness in my throat. A tingling feeling in my sternum. The question that I keep asking myself… why do I still care… you’ve made it clear. It hurts so much to the point that I can’t even feel anymore. I feel like my body is dying from the inside. I’ve shed so many tears that I can’t even get the strength to continue. It was my fault, I pushed you away. Now I’ve lost you and I can’t breathe. Im not truly happy. I try to do whatever I can to make you come back, but you never will. I wish we could have one last conversation. Just one. I can’t stop thinking about you. Your smile, your laugh, even your anger. I miss being around you. It hurts to think about you, but it hurts even more that I can’t even force myself to ignore my thoughts of you. I know I probably don’t ever cross your mind. I still love you, and I hate myself for that.

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